


Use Every Alibi, and Words You Deny

by Area5150



Category: Knight Rider (1982)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Car Sex, Closeted, Established Relationship, Other, Porn with Feelings, Robot Sex, Robot/Human Relationships, Sex with a Car, Sexual Inexperience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:07:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28330623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Area5150/pseuds/Area5150
Summary: A not-so-innocent car wash leads to some awkward conversations.
Relationships: KITT/Michael Knight
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	Use Every Alibi, and Words You Deny

**Author's Note:**

> Aces! It's another "sexy car wash" fic! Hopefully it's not a _complete_ ripoff of the other 527 sexy car wash fics and/or "people find out about Michael and KITT" fics out there, or if it is, it's still worth reading. Takes place after [my other fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25881943), but can be read as a stand-alone. 
> 
> And I swear I didn't set out intending to write _that_ scene, but one thing just led to another. As it does. *facepalm*
> 
> Title is once again from "Shadows of the Night" by Pat Benatar, who is probably going to send me a cease-and-desist any second.

"You feelin' dirty, KITT?" Michael grinned, holding up the bucket of car wash supplies. 

"Why do I suspect there's a double-entendre in that question?"

"I guess you must know me or something." He climbed into the driver's seat, setting the bucket on the passenger side floor mat. 

"I suppose I _am_ a bit dusty. And it will be an excellent opportunity to test the enhancements to my perceptual field."

"Oh, buddy, I like the sound of that."

***

"So tell me about these upgrades of yours." Michael pulled into the concrete wash station behind the maintenance building. It was a sunny, warm Sunday morning, and the Foundation grounds were mostly deserted. Nearly-ideal conditions for washing a car that might enjoy the experience a little too much, in other words. 

"My perceptual field now allows me to perceive physical sensation in much greater detail. Its official purpose is to enable me to detect hairline cracks in my shell and external systems before they become major - oh, _my_."

"Don't let me distract you." Michael continued unbuttoning his shirt. 

"I believe I might be amenable to being distracted by you." 

"Well in that case, I'll do my best to be distracting." Michael peeled his shirt off, dropping it on the passenger seat. His fingers flirted with the button on his jeans. The thought of KITT watching him, _enjoying_ watching him, had him half-hard already. 

"You have beautiful lines, Michael. Clean, elegant. A perfect interplay of form and function."

"Thanks, KITT, I never knew a Road & Track review could sound so sexy," Michael smiled. He reached up to run his hand over the steering yoke. "Does that feel any different?"

"Bonnie's primary concern was for my exterior but there is a slight enhancement to my interior sensors. That feels quite... pleasurable, I suppose would be the word."

"Yeah?" Michael stroked two fingers up the grip of the yoke as he undid his fly with the other hand. "You're not gonna get distracted while we're chasing bad guys, are you?"

"I'm more than capable of doing two things at once," KITT said, running a stroke of his seat heater up Michael's back. 

"I'll keep that in mind." The thought of KITT getting... _aroused_... while they were careening through the streets in Super Pursuit Mode was one that Michael thought he might indeed be keeping in mind for later revisiting. He arched his hips up to ease his jeans down, revealing red swim trunks. 

"Oh..." KITT sounded almost breathless. "Those are quite flattering on you."

"I know," Michael grinned, slipping his flip-flops off and sliding out of his jeans. They joined his shirt on the seat. 

"Are you... _teasing_ me?"

"Yep." He moved his hand back to the steering grip, stroking gently. "If I'm gonna get worked up, so are you, pal."

"You're really excited by me, even when we're standing still?"

"Mmm-hmm." Michael leaned in to press a quick kiss to KITT's voice modulator. "I'm excited by you pretty much all the time. Especially when I get to touch you and I know you're getting excited too. It's gonna drive me absolutely crazy running my hands all over you and not getting to do what I really wanna do 'til we're done."

"We could always 'skip to the good part,' as one says."

"Nah," Michael grinned, teasing a fingertip over KITT's gear shift. "I kinda _like_ being driven crazy. Makes it that much better when you get the payoff, you know?"

"I'm not sure I do. Perhaps you'll have to show me."

"You got it, partner." He gave the shifter a squeeze, then grabbed the wash bucket and slid out of the car, closing the door behind him. "Can you flummox that camera?" He nodded toward the security cam on the corner of the building. 

"Already done. I anticipated your request as we were parking and fed back a reversed feed followed by a stationary loop. To the observer it would appear that we reversed out of the frame."

"Good thinking, pal." Michael ran his free hand over KITT's fender. "Don't want any witnesses if we get carried away."

KITT was uncharacteristically silent. 

Michael took his hand off the fender. "You okay?"

"Michael, is what we're doing wrong?"

"No, of course not." He laid his hand back on the fender, stroking softly. "We're both consenting... uh, _beings_. And we love each other a lot. Right?"

"Yes, but why do we need to conceal the nature of our relationship from everyone, even Devon and Bonnie?"

"Well, because people sometimes have a hard time with things that are out of the ordinary. Even when it's two humans, like when one partner is a different race, or the same sex."

"But nothing I've ever seen suggests Devon and Bonnie are opposed to that sort of thing."

"I don't think they are, but even people who are open minded about relationships between humans might still not be ready for... you and me."

"Michael, my telemetry readings are logged by Bonnie's diagnostic computer. If she asks me about certain incidents, I'm not sure I'll be able to dissemble convincingly, or that I want to. Misleading a law enforcement officer or a criminal in furtherance of a mission is one thing, but misleading Bonnie or Devon seems like it would be quite another."

"Hey, buddy, if she asks, do what you gotta do. I'll stand by you, no matter what." He patted KITT's fender. 

"This would be much easier if I'd been programmed with parameters for romantic interaction."

Michael smiled. "I'll let you in on a little secret, pal. Us humans? We don't come with too many parameters, either. We just figure things out as we go."

"That sounds extremely confusing."

"It can be. But it can also be fun." He rubbed his thumb over the angle where the fender met the hood. "Sometimes knowing you're doing something forbidden is part of the thrill." 

"Like when we gratuitously turbo boost?"

"Something like that." Michael stroked his fingertips slowly around the arch of the wheel well. "Speaking of thrills, how do you like your new and improved perceptual field?"

"It's quite an extraordinary sensation. I can feel every contour of your fingerprints. In a tactile sense it's the equivalent of looking at a high-resolution color photograph compared to a dot matrix printout."

"Yeah?" He moved his hand down the sweep of the fender to brush his fingers over the groove of KITT's pop-up headlight. "Does that mean it feels good?"

" _Extremely_ ," said KITT, in a voice like black silk. 

He ran his hand down the line of KITT's prow, teasing the edge of the scanner recess. "You ready to get sudsy or you want me to keep this up a little longer?"

"I - I think I'd like it if you'd continue to touch me."

Michael grinned, crouching down to press a light kiss to the point of KITT's nose. "How do you want me to touch you?" he whispered. 

"The parts of my hull that are angled or jointed are where my perceptual sensitivity is highest. For example, the outside edges of my power bulge."

"Your _what?"_ Michael snorted, trying almost-successfully not to break out laughing. 

"The raised portion of my hood. So named because it's designed to accommodate the larger size of a more powerful engine."

"If you say so, buddy," Michael grinned, reaching up and stroking a fingertip down the inside edge of the bulge. "Sometimes I wonder if half of Pontiac's engineers were sitting at their drawing boards with one hand down their pants. Not that I blame them."

"Honestly, Michael. Not everything has some tawdry sexual - _oh_..."

Michael had licked his fingertip and traced the curved outside edge of the bulge. "Yeah, but a lot of the most fun things do." He licked his finger again, swirling his tongue around the tip in a way that he hoped was more sexy than ridiculous, then stroked the inside of the scanner recess. 

" _Oh_... oh, _yes_..."

"Tell me if you want me to do anything different, huh?" He brushed his fingertip over the lens of the scanner. "Faster, slower, harder, softer?" He rubbed his thumb over the scanner, pressing ever-so-slightly more firmly. 

"I - I don't know."

"Oh yeah," Michael smiled. "I'm your first, aren't I?"

"First intimate partner? Yes, you most certainly are."

"Good." He brushed his lips over the point of the hood just above the scanner. 

"Michael, why do humans prize the inexperience of their romantic partners so highly?"

Michael paused, pondering the question. "Well, for some people it's a religious thing. And some people just can't deal with the idea that somebody else got there first, and might have been better." He gave the scanner a feather-light caress. "And some people just get off on knowing they're the first one to blow their partner's mind."

"Based on your current physical state, I believe I can guess which category you fall into."

Michael grinned. "I believe you'd guess correctly." He leaned down and flicked his tongue against the scanner.

" _Oh_..." There was an edge of static in KITT's voice.

"Is this okay?" Michael murmured. 

"Much more than just 'okay,' Michael. Please continue."

"I'm yours to command, partner." He took a long, slow lick along the scanner. 

The scanner lights glowed. "Oh my, that gives me the strangest sensation." 

"Yeah? Strange in a good way or a bad way?"

"I'm not sure. It's not just your touch, it's your words. The idea of- of me being..."

"Being in the driver's seat?" He ran his fingers over the slickened lens. 

"Yes, it's quite... exhilarating."

"You get a little hot and bothered doing stuff you don't think you're supposed to, huh?" 

"Yes, I suppose I do." KITT's scanner light seemed to chase Michael's finger as he stroked. "Is it wrong of me to desire such a thing?"

"Nope." He leaned in to whisper, "Tell me what you want, partner."

"Oh, Michael." KITT's voice dropped to a low, silky intonation. "I want to see you."

Michael's other hand flirted with the waistband of his swim trunks. "You sure nobody's looking?"

"I register no human observers or electronic devices within a mile range."

"All right, you got it, pal..." He eased his shorts down, giving himself a stroke with one hand and caressing KITT's scanner with the other. "You like that? Seeing how hot you make me?"

"Oh, _yes_." KITT's scanner seemed to pulse under Michael's hand. "Please... let me feel you."

Michael took a quick look around and moved his hips to stroke his cock against KITT's prow. 

"Oh, _Michael_. That feels _incredible_. Would you...?" 

"Would I what?" Michael smiled as he slid his hard length down the contour where the bumper swept down below the scanner recess. 

"My scanner is extraordinarily sensitive. Even more so than my body. Can you - would you let me touch you that way?"

"Anything for you, KITT." He ran his fingertip along the seam of KITT's hood and whispered, "Open up for me." 

"Of course," said KITT, raising his hood. "But why?"

"Easier access. And better cover." He braced one hand against the turbine housing and the other on the bumper and angled his body to stroke his cock against KITT's scanner.

" _Ohhhhh_... that's - Michael, you feel - I can't even describe it, I don't even think the words exist, I feel like I'm going to short-circuit!" 

"You're not, are you?" Michael moved his hips in a slow thrust, savoring the sleek glide of the scanner against his sensitive skin. 

"I don't know, but I think I'd be willing to risk it."

Michael laughed softly. "You get more human every day, pal." He shifted more of his weight to his leg and licked his hand, slicking his cock and stroking against the scanner, enjoying KITT's inarticulate moan. "You're not gonna be too distracted to scan, are you? 'Cause if anybody catches us, they're gonna reprogram you and commit me."

"Oh dear," said KITT, his voice wavering and unsteady. "I suppose the rational thing to do would be stop immediately."

"Is that what you want?" He moved back a fraction of an inch, letting himself touch the scanner almost-imperceptibly.

"No, Michael." KITT's scanner seemed to quiver underneath him. "The sensation of your body against me makes me quite irrational." 

Michael grinned. "I know the feeling, pal." He thrust hard against the scanner, his cock throbbing as KITT hummed against him. "God, KITT, the things you do to me..."

"But - _Ohhh_ \- I'm hardly doing anything, you're the one who's doing all the work."

"Can't help it if you get my motor running just by being you." He gave KITT another long, slow stroke. "Tell me everything you want, partner. I want to make this good for you."

"Oh, Michael, everything you do for me is amazing." 

"Mmm... you too, buddy." The whir of KITT's scanner under him felt like being touched with tingling electrical caresses, taking him closer and closer to the edge with every thrust. "You feel so goddamn good, I feel like I'm gonna short-circuit myself."

"Oh, Michael, please, I want to..."

"What? Talk to me, KITT." He moved his hips faster, his own electric heat building, seeming to radiate from where he touched KITT to every nerve ending in his body. 

"I want you to - I want to feel you -" 

Michael smiled. "Is 'come' the word you're looking for?"

" _Yes_ , Michael, _please_ \- I need -"

"At your service, pal." 

"Ohhh..." KITT's voice had a rough blur of static around the edges.

Michael closed his eyes and surrendered to the lightning-sleek glide of KITT's scanner against him, whispering, "Come on, baby, _come for me_ ," as he let himself go. 

He felt the scanner glow under the liquid-hot pulses of his climax and then KITT was crying out, "Oh, _Michael_ ," his voice dissolving in a burst of static.

Gasping for breath, Michael opened his eyes as he felt the scanner go still. "KITT?" He knelt down and tapped the scanner softly. It appeared frozen in a solid red burst. "Buddy? You okay? Speak to me." 

The scanner slowly faded, then resumed its normal steady sweep. "I'm all right."

"Thank God," Michael sighed. "Thought I broke you there for a second." He finally remembered to pull his shorts up, then ran his hand over the top of the scanner recess. "What happened? Did I hurt you?" 

"No. Quite the opposite. The positive feedback loop was at the upper limit of my parameters and I had to shut the system down to avoid overload."

"Sorry, pal. I didn't mean to short-circuit you." He patted KITT's nose, then leaned in to kiss him. 

"No apology necessary, Michael. No damage was done. Indeed, I find myself rather curious what I would have experienced had I left the perceptual system engaged."

"Whoa, buddy! I don't want you getting hurt."

"I'm not sure I would. Climax for a human is an overload of the sensory feedback systems, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, kind of, but our systems are designed to take it. Usually. I don't know if yours are."

"Is it strange that I think it might be worth it?"

Michael shook his head, smiling. "No. But don't try it, okay? I don't want to be responsible for hurting you. And I sure as hell don't want to explain to Bonnie how it happened, either."

"Very well, Michael. I'll confine my curiosity to the realm of speculation."

"Good." He kissed the arch of KITT's nose, just below his scanner. "Did you still have fun even without overloading your system?"

"Oh, _yes_. It was quite a delightful sensation. My positive feedback loop has never been that intense before."

"Well, I _do_ aim to please," Michael grinned, stroking the sweep of KITT's prow. "Let's get you cleaned up, huh?" He leaned in to whisper, "Now that I got you nice and dirty." He pressed a kiss to the warm surface.

"If we must. The sensation of your ejaculate on my scanner is... intriguing."

"KITT, you say the sweetest things."

"I mean it, Michael. You have an optimal chemical composition."

"Thanks, buddy. That's one I hadn't heard before." 

"Your ratio of sucrose, amino acid and citric acid is really quite remarkable, especially considering your less-than-ideal diet."

Michael laughed. "KITT, are you telling me I taste good?"

"I don't 'taste' in the human sense, but it's analogous."

"Well, I'm glad I could impress you."

"Aside from the chemical analysis perspective, it's extremely... _satisfying_. Knowing that I inspired that response from you." 

"Mmm, you better believe it, pal. And it was as good for me as it was for you." 

"I'm glad. As you've no doubt noticed, pleasing you pleases me."

"Oh, I've noticed all right." Michael smiled, trailing his fingers down KITT's prow. "You ready to cool off?" He reached for the hose.

"Yes, I suppose that would be advisable."

"Tell me if this is too much, okay?" He adjusted the nozzle to a lower pressure and squeezed the trigger gently, aiming a stream of water over the scanner.

"Oh, that's quite pleasant. Refreshing, even."

"Good." Michael carefully washed away all incriminating evidence from the scanner, checking behind the recess for any stray droplets. 

"May I close my hood now? I feel rather exposed like this."

"Good idea." Michael eased the hood down, latching it firmly and then patting it. "Someday you're gonna have to tell me all about what's under here." He sprayed down the hood, paying special attention to the angles and curves of KITT's power bulge. 

"Oh my, if this is supposed to be cooling me off - or _turning_ me off - I'm not sure it's having the desired effect," said KITT. "And of course I'll tell you anything you want to know about me. But wouldn't it be easier just to look at the ESB?"

"Maybe," Michael smiled, letting the water arc up onto KITT's roof. "But it would be more interesting hearing it from you."

"Certainly, Michael. Would you like me to start now?"

"That's okay, buddy. Give the blood a chance to get back to my brain first." He moved to spray KITT's driver's side, circling around to the back. "This feel okay? Not too cold?"

"No, not at all. The temperature is optimal."

"Yeah?" Michael turned the hose on himself, then yelped as the cool water soaked him and aimed the hose back at KITT, laughing. "I think you have a different idea about what's an optimal temperature than I do, pal." He moved back around to the front, sweeping the hose over the passenger's side.

"Perhaps I'm simply hotter than you are."

"Well, sure, everybody knows I'm the brains of this operation and you're the looks." Michael grinned as he shut the hose off and reached for the sponge. 

"I hope you don't think you're getting back in my driver's seat with those wet shorts on, Mr. Brains of the Operation."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it." He leaned in to stroke the sponge over the curve of KITT's fender and whispered, "I'll be sure to take them off first." 

"Oh goodness, as much as I'm enjoying this, I think I might be looking forward to the drive back even more."

"Want me to make it quick?" Michael stroked the sponge slowly down the edge of KITT's power bulge.

"On second thought, no need to hurry." There was a slight flutter in KITT's voice. 

"How does this feel?" He ran the sponge along the curve of KITT's prow. 

"Is 'sensuous' an appropriate term?"

"Well, you're sensing it, aren't you?"

"Oh, I most definitely am."

Michael grinned. "Better than the Xpress Wash?"

"Please, Michael. Never speak of that place again."

Michael laughed, teasing the corner of the sponge around the inside of the scanner recess. "Only the personal touch for you, pal." He stroked the sponge over the scanner, feeling his cock twitch at the soft gasping sound KITT made. "You ready to go again?"

"Oh Michael, I feel as though I could, but at the same time..."

"Hmm?" He gave the scanner another light stroke.

"I'm greatly enjoying being touched by you like this. It creates positive feedback but doesn't approach the upper threshold of my system. The constant low grade stimulation is - I don't quite know how to describe it."

"I do," Michael smiled, moving the sponge in a gentle press around the seams of KITT's headlights. "You like being teased."

"Yes, I believe I do."

"Well, I like teasing you, so I guess it's a win-win." He ran the sponge around to KITT's other fender, moving in slow arcs around the curve of the wheel well. 

"You know, I've always looked forward to being washed by you, even before we were... what we are now. Before I could feel what I feel now."

"Yeah?" Michael stroked the sponge over KITT's side, tracing the line of his door panel.

"Yes, it's not just the sensation of being touched, it's the experience of being so meticulously cared for, of being..."

"Loved?" Michael worked the sponge around the seams of KITT's speed brakes with gentle pressure.

" _Ohh!_ Yes. Even if I didn't have a frame of reference for it until recently."

Michael smiled, tracing the arch of KITT's rear wheel well. "You don't always have to be able to name something to feel it, buddy."

"Did you feel love for me even then?"

"Yeah, I did. Even if I didn't have a frame of reference for it, either." He rubbed light strokes over the corner where KITT's bumper met his taillight panel. 

"But you had experienced love before, for other humans."

"Yeah, but every person you love is different, and the feeling is different." Michael soaped delicate circles onto KITT's taillights. "The way I love you isn't the same way I loved Stevie, or the way I love Bonnie, or Devon, or R. C." He ran the sponge up over KITT's spoiler, working it into the gap between the wing and the trunk lid. "I don't even know if there's a word for it, 'cause I don't think there's ever been anything like what we have."

"Because I'm not human?"

"Because you're _more_ than human."

"Oh, _Michael._ "

Michael stroked the sponge along the underside of KITT's bumper. "Have I ever told you how much I like hearing you say my name?"

"No, Michael - _ah!_ "

Michael had brushed the sponge over the tip of KITT's left tailpipe. "What?" He pulled his hand away, letting it hover just below the exhaust. "Did that hurt?"

"No," said KITT, a silky undercurrent to his voice suggesting it had been just the opposite. 

"Oh?" A grin crept across Michael's lips as he moved the sponge closer. 

"As you know, my exhaust system is a point of vulnerability, and as such..."

"You're sensitive there." Michael crouched down to reach under the car and sweep the sponge along the length of the pipe. 

"Yes, _extremely_ so. _Oh._ Oh, Michael. Would it be too much for me to ask you to - to use your hand?"

"Mmmm..." Michael set the sponge on the ground and ran his fingertips from KITT's muffler to the end of his tailpipe, feather-light caresses against the sleek alloy. "Tell me how you want me to use it," he murmured, his lips almost brushing KITT's bumper.

"Michael, I'm physically incapable of blushing but sometimes I think you would like me to."

Michael laughed softly. "You know it, pal." He traced his fingertip around the end of the pipe, then slipped two fingers inside, stroking gently. The metal felt smooth and clean under his fingertips. "You blushing yet?"

"Oh _Michael._ You have the most beautiful hands. Elegant and strong and -" His words melted into a moan as Michael ran his other hand along the underside of KITT's tailpipe, caressing him in rhythm with the strokes of his fingers. 

Hearing his normally eloquent partner reduced to desire-wrecked incoherence made Michael's heart pound and his cock throb. "You have the most beautiful _everything_ , KITT."

"Michael, I - _ohh_ \- _please_..."

"Please, what?" Michael whispered, working his hands harder and faster. "Tell me."

"Please give yourself to me, Michael." KITT's voice was low and dark. "In any and every way I can have you."

" _God_ , KITT." Whatever part of his brain might have been screaming that KITT couldn't possibly be asking for _that_ and Michael couldn't possibly be considering it was drowned out by the pounding of his heart, rushing all of his blood further south. He dropped one hand to the waistband of his shorts and reached up to grip KITT's spoiler with the other. "Promise me you're not gonna regret this in the morning?" 

"Never, Michael. Every part of me is yours. _Take me_." 

And hell if that didn't send Michael's libido straight into overdrive. He had a sensation of teetering on the edge of some kind of event horizon as he pushed his shorts down and slid under the car, arching up to tease the tip of his cock against the entrance of KITT's tailpipe. "Is this what you want, partner?" He moved his hips a fraction of an inch, stroking against the curve of the pipe. 

"More than I've ever wanted anything in my existence. Please, show me what it feels like to possess you, to be possessed by you - _ahhh!"_ KITT gasped as Michael slid deeper inside him.

"You like that?" Michael moved in slow, deliberate strokes, hot, hard flesh gliding against sleek, cool metal. 

"Oh, _Michael_. It's _ecstasy_. Being with you like this, being able to _feel_ you like this." 

Michael rocked his hips harder, letting the pipe's curve grip him. "I love being with you too. Getting you hot, getting you off. Love knowing you're _mine_." 

" _Yes_ , Michael. You would never deny me anything, would you?" 

How did a computerized voice sound so much like a fallen angel? "Never, KITT." Michael clenched harder on KITT's spoiler, licking his other hand to slicken his cock, then running his hand over the outside of the pipe. The satiny-chrome glide against him, around him, sent a dark current of desire pulsing up his spine. 

"I want to feel everything I _can_ feel with you. I want to go beyond anything I've ever experienced before. Please, let me." 

And damn it, he could resist everything but temptation, especially in the form of that voice begging Michael to let him come. "Anything you want, partner." 

"Oh, Michael. I love you so much."

"I love you too, KITT." 

There was a hum as KITT's ignitors switched on, the faint vibration in his exhaust system sending a black-lightning shiver over Michael's sensitized skin. " _Come for me, baby._ " The velvet-over-steel purr of KITT's words almost took Michael over the edge and then he cranked his engine, the low, deep throb reverberating through Michael's whole body, and Michael was crying out KITT's name as he exploded inside him in hot, pulsating bursts. "Oh, Michael, _yes_ ," KITT moaned, his engine falling silent as his voice shattered into static and then went still. 

Michael let go of KITT's spoiler and slumped to the ground, barely having the presence of mind to pull his shorts up before he closed his eyes. His breath was ragged as he reached up to stroke KITT's bumper. "Wow, that was -" He took a deep breath, caressing the curved corner. "Amazing. You're amazing." He brushed his knuckles along the underside of the bumper, stopping just short of the tailpipe. "You still with me, pal?"

When KITT spoke, his voice was tinny and faint. "I'm all right, Michael. I've extinguished the fire."

" _What?"_ Michael sat bolt upright.

"Just a little joke."

Michael gave KITT's bumper a playful swat, letting his hand rest where it fell. "Of all your terrible jokes, that one was the worst." He stroked the bumper with his thumb.

"My apologies, Michael. I was hoping leading with a worst-case scenario would make you less upset about the fact that I actually did short out one of the capacitors on my secondary processor board."

Michael groaned, leaning his forehead against KITT's taillight panel. "KITT, that's exactly why I didn't want you pushing your limits."

"And experiencing pleasure so intense it was literally 'mind-blowing' is exactly why I wanted to."

"Great, I've created the world's first nymphomaniac car," Michael grinned.

"Hardly an accurate term."

"What, 'car'?" Michael picked up the sponge again and swiped it lazily around the rim of KITT's tailpipe.

" _Oh!_ Don't try to distract me, Michael. The term 'nymphomaniac' is primarily used to refer to a female human with insatiable sexual desire, by implication for multiple partners. I'm neither female nor human, and the only partner I desire is you."

"But I didn't get the 'insatiable' part wrong, huh, buddy?" Michael smiled, working the sponge gently into KITT's tailpipe, wiping him clean. 

"I - _ohh_ \- I suppose not."

"Well, I'll do my best to take care of your _every_ need." He gave the tailpipe a teasing stroke with his fingers. "Speaking of which, this capacitor you fried, is it something I can fix for you?"

"How good are you at soldering?"

"I passed sixth grade shop class."

"Oh dear. Perhaps it's better left to Bonnie."

"You want to tell her how it happened?"

"I get your point."

"Yeah, and you getting my point is exactly what got us into this mess," Michael snickered.

"Honestly, Michael. And you say _my_ jokes are bad." KITT paused. "Do you think we should stop doing this?"

"Do you?" Michael straightened up, wringing out the sponge. 

"I suppose the objective answer is yes, but I find myself wanting to disregard it."

"Believe me, I know exactly how you feel." Michael made his way toward the front of the car. "How about I take a shot at fixing that capacitor? Just to see if I can do it?" He picked up the hose. "You know, just in case it's ever just the two of us?"

"You mean, without support from the Foundation?"

"Yeah." Michael sent a spray of water cascading over KITT's front end. 

"Is that a scenario you're anticipating?"

"I don't know." He fastidiously rinsed off the soap suds, which were already starting to dry. "I hope not. But nobody's taking you away from me if you don't wanna go."

"Would you really go on the run with me? Like Butch and Sundance?"

"You know I would."

"And of course you know, I would go with you, too."

"I know you would, pal." He leaned down to kiss the freshly-washed hood. "Sorry for being such a bad influence on you." 

"There's no-one I'd rather be corrupted by."

Michael smiled, moving around to rinse KITT's side. "Maybe you're the one corrupting me. I sure never did anything like this with any of my other cars."

"Not even your _'56 Chevy?"_

"Definitely not."

"Good."

"Mmmm, you're cute when you're jealous." He brushed his fingertips over the smooth glass of KITT's t-top as he circled around to the rear of the car. 

"I just like knowing that no other car can compete with me. In _any_ arena."

"You got that right, pal." He sprayed off KITT's bumper, then turned down the pressure to rinse his taillights. "I'd ask if I was the best driver you ever had, but I already know the answer."

"Have I mentioned that your humility is one of your many endearing qualities?"

Michael smiled. "I know that, too." He leaned down to hose off KITT's undercarriage. 

"Do you think we could go for a drive when we're done? Perhaps someplace more secluded?"

"Sure thing, pal." Michael rinsed off KITT's other side, then made his way back to the front of the car. "Can't get enough of me, huh?"

"I can think of a few more tests we could perform. Just to ensure that we've _thoroughly_ explored every aspect of my enhanced perceptual system."

Michael laughed, wiping the glistening droplets of water off KITT's hood with a chamois cloth. "Good thing having a hot car makes me feel like I'm eighteen again." He ran his fingertips over KITT's scanner. "Just try not to short out anything important, huh?"

"I'll do my best."

"You always do, pal." He stroked the cloth along the contours of KITT's power bulge. "You mind if we skip the wax this time?"

"As you wish, Michael. Are you feeling tired?"

"Nah." He grinned and leaned down to whisper, "I just bet it tastes terrible."

"Oh, _my_."

***

"KITT, I'm seeing some anomalous readings in your telemetry logs." Bonnie was scrolling through pages of raw data on the diagnostic terminal. "I think I need to make some adjustments to your perceptual feedback system."

"Why?"

"These readings don't make sense. According to the numbers your positive feedback system exceeded tolerances by ten percent last Sunday and your damage reporting monitor showed a short in capacitor two-B on your secondary control board, but there's no repair log and your current damage assessment doesn't show it."

"It's all right, Bonnie. You don't need to adjust anything. I'm not damaged."

"If you're not, then I need to check your damage reporting system."

"I'm fine. It's nothing to be concerned about."

She looked over at him. "KITT, what's nothing to be concerned about? What do you know that I don't?"

"I'd rather not say. Just rest assured that I'm in no danger."

"KITT, if this is nothing I need to worry about, why are you afraid to tell me? Did somebody hurt you?"

"No, nothing of the kind."

"Why are you being so evasive? If you were a human, I'd think you were on drugs or - or having a secret affair." Her eyes narrowed. "You're not, are you?"

"Don't be silly, Bonnie. Of course I'm not a human. And intoxicants have no effect on me."

She blinked, hearing the words that KITT wasn't saying and drawing the right conclusion. "KITT? Who are you protecting?" The tone of her voice strongly suggested she already knew the answer.

"Bonnie, please don't ask me to betray his trust. Or lie to you."

"Oh my God!" She jumped up out of her chair and grabbed a pair of vise-grip pliers off the tool cart. "I can't believe this! I'm going to -!" She brandished the pliers menacingly.

KITT opened his driver's side door. "Bonnie, please! Your indignation is completely unnecessary. Before you do anything rash, please just sit and listen to me."

Bonnie sighed, hurling herself into KITT's seat and crossing her arms, still clutching the pliers. "Of all the sleazy, low-down - I can't believe he could just _take advantage of you_ like that!"

"Bonnie, _please_. You're not being fair to Michael. Or to me. However maternal you might feel toward me, I'm not a child. And I'm not nearly as naive as you seem to think I am. One might just as easily say _I_ took advantage of _him_. And both statements would be equally inaccurate. All of our amorous encounters have been mutually consensual, and enjoyable."

"All of -? How many -? Never mind, I don't want to know." She glared at KITT's voice synthesizer. "Is this why you wanted me to upgrade your perceptual system?"

"I'd like to invoke my fifth amendment right not to incriminate myself."

She groaned, closing her eyes. "You know, I ought to just delete the last however many days or weeks or months of your memory. Clearly you're suffering from temporary insanity."

"Bonnie, why are you so appalled by the idea of me being Michael's romantic partner in addition to his professional one? You know I was created to be his ideal partner and to sacrifice my own existence for him if necessary. You accept that both he and I could be destroyed on every mission, and you willingly help make it possible for the two of us to put ourselves in those situations. How can you begrudge us enjoying the happiness we've found together in our off-hours?"

"Just because I accept it, doesn't mean I like it." She sighed, unfolding her arms and setting the pliers down on the armrest. "I don't want you getting hurt. You _know_ what he's like with girls."

"In the time he and I have been partners, Michael has had dalliances with one hundred and twenty-two women. Never have I seen him use dishonesty, coercion or force to obtain sex, and all of his liaisons ended amicably, with the exceptions of his marriage that, as you'll recall, was ended by the murder of his wife by Durant, and one encounter in which he participated under duress and which ended with the demise of the woman in question at the hands of Garthe Knight. Furthermore, I have never known him to be unfaithful to a woman to whom he had pledged exclusivity. So _yes_ , I do believe I know what he's like." KITT paused. "Bonnie, if you care for me, please trust my judgement."

She shook her head. "I don't know if I can. Show me your secondary control board." KITT obediently slid his access panel open and she peered at the capacitor. "This has been replaced. And not by somebody who was particularly good at soldering, either. So it _was_ damaged?"

"Yes." 

"When you exceeded tolerances on your positive feedback field?"

"Yes."

"How did that happen?"

"Please don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to."

She sighed, sliding the panel shut and slumping back in the seat. "Can you promise me you won't do that again?"

"I can, yes, but I would greatly prefer not to."

"KITT, you're really not making this easy on me."

"Would it help if I promised not to exceed my positive feedback parameters by _more_ than ten percent?"

"Maybe." She smiled ruefully, running her hands through her hair. "I don't like the thought of you deliberately damaging yourself just for some - some cheap thrill."

"I can assure you that if I damage myself, it will only be for the most extravagant and meaningful of thrills."

She bit back a snicker. "You haven't heard the last of this. Either of you. I'm going to be watching your telemetry files like a hawk and if I see _any_ sign that you're being hurt, physically _or_ emotionally, it's over."

"Bonnie, with all due respect, I don't think that should be your decision to make. You know I'm more than just a computer in a car. Please don't punish me for becoming more and feeling more and _wanting_ more than even you ever dreamed I could."

"Damn it," she sighed, leaning back against the headrest and closing her eyes. "You're going to do what you want no matter what I say, aren't you?"

"I'm afraid so."

She opened her eyes and reached over to lay her hand on the center of the steering yoke. "Just be careful, okay?"

"Always, Bonnie."

***

Michael knew something was up when he walked into Devon's office and found him sitting on the couch with his tie off and a bottle of top-shelf bourbon and two glasses on the coffee table. He could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen Devon dressed for anything less than tea with the Queen. 

"Devon, what's up?" 

"Close the door behind you, if you would." Devon's congenial tone didn't loosen the knot that was quickly tightening in Michael's stomach. "Please, sit down and have a drink." Devon gestured to the couch beside him.

"Thanks, but something tells me I'm gonna want a clear head for this conversation." Michael sat down on the couch facing Devon, warily eyeing him and trying to read his neutral expression.

"As you wish, Michael." He nonetheless poured two glasses, taking a sip from his before gesturing to the security cameras. "The cameras and recorders have been turned off. This discussion is just between us." He set his glass back on the table as Michael willed himself not to make a run for the exit. "Michael, Bonnie has come to me with some concerns."

Michael sighed, folding his arms. "You mean she blabbed to you about stuff that was nobody's business except mine and KITT's?"

"A matter of semantics." Devon's eyebrow quirked a fraction of an inch. "I infer that her concerns are valid?"

"Quit beating around the bush. You want to know if KITT and I are -" Michael's jaw clenched. He'd been about to say _fucking_ ; the coarse language suited his mood, but he couldn't bring himself to reduce his relationship with KITT to such a crass word. "Fine. Whatever you're thinking, it's true. And then some." Devon opened his mouth to speak but Michael cut him off. "And for the first time in my life, I don't have to choose between who I am and who I love. And if you wanna take that away from me, go ahead and try. We're done here." He started to get up, only to feel Devon's hand clamp down on his wrist. 

"We most certainly are not." Michael could hear the steel of the OSS officer Devon had once been in the older man's voice, and feel it in his grip. "Sit down." It wasn't a request. Michael tensed as Devon's icy stare bored into him, and then relented, collapsing back onto the couch, feeling the fight drain from him. Devon relaxed his hold on Michael's wrist but didn't let go. "Michael, believe it or not, I'm not unsympathetic to your situation. But this is modern-day America, not ancient Greece, and the majority of people - including those on FLAG's board of directors - are neither understanding or approving of the love of one warrior for another. And they would be even less understanding or approving of an _affaire de coeur_ between a man and a machine than one between a billionaire industrialist and his right-hand man. Do you understand?"

"Perfectly," Michael sighed.

"Then I can count on both you and KITT to exercise appropriate discretion and not put me in the position of having to answer any uncomfortable questions at board meetings or press conferences?"

Michael opened his mouth and then closed it again, blinking. It took him a second to process what Devon had said. "Uh, yeah, of course." 

Devon's expression softened. "Good." He gave Michael's wrist a squeeze, then let him go and picked up his glass. "To a brighter, more tolerant future."

Michael picked up the other glass and clinked it against Devon's. "I'll drink to that."

***

"Michael, do you wish I were human?"

"Nope. You're perfect the way you are." Michael stared out at the lights of Las Vegas. They were on the upper level of the Barbary Coast parking garage, overlooking the Strip as Michael enjoyed his fast-food dinner after the conclusion of a case that had involved a hapless showgirl and a crooked casino owner. "Why, do you?"

"It seems like it would make things much easier for us. In the personal sense, if not the professional one." 

"Some things, sure." Michael washed down the last of his French fries with a swig of Coke and wiped the grease off his hands with a paper napkin. "I wouldn't mind being able to hold you in my arms at night... wake up next to you in the morning..." He reached up and ran his fingertip over the grip of KITT's steering yoke. "Kiss you all over."

"Do you think it will ever be possible?" 

"I don't know." Michael stroked the steering yoke thoughtfully. "Maybe. They're making new strides in technology every day. Look what's possible today compared to ten or twenty years ago." He gave the yoke a squeeze. "Why are you so concerned about this all of a sudden? Is this about that dancer batting her eyelashes at me? 'Cause I've practically forgotten her name already."

"Michael, Bonnie asked me about the incident that resulted in my capacitor being damaged. I didn't tell her everything, but I told her enough."

"I know. She told Devon."

"What are we going to do?"

"Be discreet."

"We're not going on the run?"

Michael shook his head. "Devon and I came to an understanding. We don't do anything that'll get the Foundation any embarrassing headlines, and he'll look the other way."

"Oh. Well, that's a relief, I suppose."

Michael let his hand drop to the gearshift, running his thumb over the knob. "Did you _want_ to go on the run?"

"Considering how things ended for Butch and Sundance, I don't imagine that would have been an optimal situation. Still, there's a certain romantic mystique to the idea."

Michael smiled. "Yeah." He stroked his fingers over the stick. "KITT, how's my credit rating?"

KITT's modem beeped as he accessed the databanks. "It's respectable, but not spectacular. You're helped by your above-average income, but hindered by your short credit history and lack of long-term installment loans. Why do you ask?"

"Think I could get a mortgage?"

"With a large enough down payment, it's possible. Would you like me to start checking real estate listings?"

"Sure, see if you can find something out in the country, or maybe the desert, with a nice big garage."

"Why, are you planning on acquiring another car?"

Michael grinned at the tart note in KITT's voice. "Nope. Just figured it might be nice to have a little privacy for when I want to kiss you all over. And room for a big, comfy mattress so I can fall asleep next to you."

"Michael, are you asking me to move in with you?"

"Yeah, I guess so." He gave KITT's shift knob a squeeze.

"Oh, Michael, that's considered a significant milestone in human relationships, isn't it?"

"Yep."

"I don't know what to say?"

Michael leaned in and pressed a kiss to KITT's voice modulator. "You can say 'yes.'"

"Oh, Michael. Yes, of course, I'd love to." 

Michael wrapped his arms around the steering column to give KITT a hug. "I love you, KITT." 

"I love you too, Michael." KITT was quiet as Michael sat up and rested his hand on the center console, stroking it softly. "Michael... do you think this will always be enough for you?"

"What will?"

"Me being... in this form." 

"KITT, I love _you_. Not your body, your _soul_. And I want to be with you, no matter what." 

"Even if we can never physically be together the way humans can, or publicly admit to being in love with one another?"

"KITT, none of that changes what we feel for each other, or makes it any less. And that's what matters, not how we make love or who we tell about it." He ran his hand over the top of the dashboard. "You're stuck with me, pal. For better or worse." 

"Thank you, Michael. To quote one of your slightly less atrocious rock songs, 'I'm so happy to be stuck with you.'"

Michael smiled. "That makes two of us." His fingers found their way to the ignition. "There's a hundred miles of road in every direction. You wanna go on the run for a few hours?"

"Michael, you have a tone to your voice that suggests you have more than just driving on your mind."

"Maybe," Michael grinned, pressing the switch and watching KITT's indicator lights cycle. "How about we find a nice, secluded patch of desert and I'll show you _exactly_ what's on my mind?"

"Does any of it involve us pretending to be two desperadoes, indulging in our forbidden passions before the law or the Grim Reaper catches up to us?"

Michael winked. "It could. Aside from the 'desperadoes' part, it wouldn't even take much pretending."

"Compared to most of the recreational activity available in Las Vegas, I'd say that's one of the better options."

Michael laughed, backing the car up and heading for the exit. He switched the radio on and guitar riffs and synthesizers filled the cabin. Michael sang along with the lyrics. " _We're running with the shadows of the night, so baby, take my hand, it'll be all right, surrender all your dreams to me tonight, they'll come true in the end..._ "

"Michael, if I may be so bold, would you promise me one thing?"

"Anything, KITT." 

"If the American sociopolitical climate ever evolves to the point where it's permissible for a human to marry a car, I get to pick the music for our wedding."

"You got it, pal."

The setting sun painted the sky and the highway in rose-colored light, and the city glittered behind them like diamonds as they drove west. Michael steered with a light touch and KITT's tires seemed to glide on the smooth pavement, feeling more like flying than driving. The desert expanse opened up before them, red rock and empty roads waiting to keep their secrets. 

**Author's Note:**

> Quoted song lyrics are from "Shadows of the Night" by Pat Benatar, except where they're from "Stuck With You" by Huey Lewis and the News. I very nearly used "Dance Dance d'Amour" by David Hasselhoff but sanity prevailed, because it had to _somewhere_ , and lord knows it wasn't anywhere else in this fic.
> 
> KITT's _"Take me."_ and the preceding sentence were a paraphrase from Raymond Chandler's "Playback", and if you made it past what happened after that, thanks for not showing up in my inbox with a torch and a pitchfork!


End file.
